Love Blog 08: Ten Steps On How To Move On After An Excruciatingly Painful Heartbreak

Read at your own risk.

  1. Try to do new things, go to new places, get to have a taste of dishes you’ve never even heard of. And while you’re eating that weird salad or that cold, cold ice cream of some sort of flavor, think of him or her and imagine how stupid that person is leaving you for somebody else or some other life. Try to use an advance form of mathematical language and estimate how much that person is missing not doing those things with you (those things that you would have not even done in the first place if not for that shitty heartbreak).
  2. Try to stick with some famous mantras. It helps, really. Say two or three out loud in the shower while you cry. Imagine that you are standing knee-deep in the waters near the beach because in the oceans, salty tears seem so little. You were born without him or her, you got to learn you’re first words, you started walking, thinking, and loving without that stupid bitch or asshole beside you. That means that you can, and you will survive. Think of your own heart beating the hell out of you. It is in the center of your chest, but it beats on the left side. That’s why it’s not always right (if not always wrong!).
  3. Sleep a lot. Eat a lot. Don’t worry about the extra pounds. You can burn them all in hell with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend later on. Try do some exercise in the morning, though. You’re not hibernating, you are moving on. Keep that in mind. Also, walking or running is fun especially when you think about running from everything else, when you imagine that you are actually saving yourself from that miserable life.
  4. Cry everyday. Do it with different people and different places. Try all the possible combinations. One day, you’ll grow tired and realized that crying is already enough. You’ll hate yourself for a while, but you’ll get the idea and laugh about it someday.
  5. Try to meet new people. reunite with some old friends, and if you can, make peace with some of your enemies. Be careful not to fall in love, at least not until you’re okay. It wouldn’t be nice to break somebody else’s heart just because you broke yours. You wouldn’t want to be be part of your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend’s league of super evil heroes, with special powers for crushing the souls and hearts of the innocent.
  6. Keep moving forward. You have both eyes in front so that you’ll have a sense of direction. Just imagine if one eye was on the back. You’d go crazy finding the north and the south, the forward and the backward, the beginning and the end. Well, you can try looking back sometimes, but not too much. Just do it because you need to look at life’s lessons, and not because you want to wallow and make yourself look pathetic (again) while you unconsciously go back to step one.
  7. Burn his or her things. You don’t need them anymore. Burn the underwear, the bra, the panties. If in case they go looking for it, tell him or her that the dog ate it. If you don’t have a dog, point to a cat. Cats seem cute enough; they’re close to outnumbering the human beings.
  8. Look at yourself in the mirror. Smile. Laugh. But not too much of course, and not in front of everybody. You might lose it. Save your wits and keep your sanity. You’re beautiful, you are worth millions, you are worth it. Like everybody else, you deserve to be loved back when you love. You deserve to be happy. You’re not a bad person, right?
  9. Stop saying that you’re happy for him or her. Don’t ever lie to yourself. You’re not happy, and you’re not required to do so. Try throwing dishes to a blank wall with his or her picture on the center, and you’d realize that you hate that person so much, that you’d make him or her miserable if you had the chance. I swear, you’d even wear a black or red outfit in the night of revenge just like how it goes in the soap operas. The lesson here is, keep it cool. But don’t ever, ever, ever lie to yourself. As the song goes, the greatest love love of all is easy to achieve; learning to love yourself is the greatest yourself is the greatest love of all. You don’t lie to someone you love. Why lie to yourself?
  10. Move on. For this step, you have to follow your own recipe. Each heartbreak is unique, so each one requires a completely different process. Some can take so long, but no heartbreak takes forever. Ask yourself how, why, and what you need and what you want. You’ll get the right answers if you ask the right questions. Remember that you have the rest of world behind you. Seven billion other people are out there. You can find that one person. If you don’t, that’s okay. You can complete yourself anyway. You have your dreams and you have a beautiful life ahead of you. Single? In a relationship? It’s complicated? NBSB? NGSB? It matters, yes. But it is not the only reason why you’re here in this world. It does not define who you are. So, you can make it. And you will.

Read Also: Five Events That Prove How Powerful Pre-Colonial Philippines Is

This is an entry to Claire Delfin Media’s ‘Spread The Love Blog’ Promo. The entry with the most number of views will win a roundtrip ticket for two to Cebu via Philippine Airlines, and a two-night stay with free breakfast at Marco Polo Plaza.


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Erwin Caezar Bravo

Writer by profession.

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